I'm a wealth manager for ultra-high-net-worth families. These are the 4 most common questions my rich clients have about inheritance.

This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with Valerie Galinskaya, 38, a family wealth advisor at Bank of America based in New York City, about helping ultra-high-net-worth clients — defined by the bank as those with more than $10 million in investable assets — navigate inherited wealth. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

I'm the managing director and head of the Merrill Center for Family Wealth. We're a group within Bank of America that works with over 300 ultra-high-net-worth families, helping them navigate the impacts of wealth on themselves, their families, and their communities.

We work and speak with clients across the entire family, including in the rising generation — who are typically in the second, third, or fourth generation of a high-net-worth family — to help them develop a concrete financial plan.

We saw that they often felt immense gratitude for their families' financial success but also felt anxious and pressured about growing up in the shadow of wealth.

Many had unspoken questions and feared being judged or viewed as entitled if they articulated these to their families. This silence around wealth can create misunderstandings across generations and hinder financial planning.

We put together a paper, published in June, based on feedback from over 1,000 rising-generation family members between the ages of 21 and 35 who we've worked with. We pulled out some key questions that they had about managing inherited wealth.

Here are four common questions they were concerned about.

1. How can I determine what my family expects of me and what I can expect without seeming entitled?

The rising generation wants to ensure they're honoring the hard work done by previous generations. But often, they aren't sure what success means to those people, perhaps because family members feel uncomfortable talking about it.

Some rising generation members told us they feel like their parents are concerned that their wealth will impede their children's motivation and desire to thrive.

We encourage the rising generation to ask older generations what their vision is and how they see the wealth being used.

We've been working with a family for numerous years: The parents are first-generation wealth creators, and they have three young adult children who all worked hard and attended top universities.

When we spoke with the children individually, one of them shared that she had a good job on paper as a corporate attorney, but it wasn't fulfilling for her, and she wanted to explore something entrepreneurial.

The family hadn't discussed what success and purpose meant for them, but when we spoke with the parents, they shared they wanted their kids to have the freedom to explore entrepreneurship and didn't want them to be in jobs that weren't fulfilling to them.

It opened up a conversation about what assets she could access to start a business.

Once a dialogue across generations starts, it can be a wonderful way for the rising generation to understand what's expected of them.

The question of expectation will not be answered in one conversation, but starting the dialogue is critical.

2. How can I build my own personal identity, both within and outside the family wealth?

Engaging in the family business is fairly common in ultra-high-net-worth families.

I've had clients realize that they are not interested — or at least not yet interested — in joining the family business and a few individuals have chosen to leave it.

Many rising generation members are concerned about how to carve out a path for themselves.

We've found it's helpful to talk about this in family meetings, but also for the rising generation to be able to explore options, such as an internship or shadowing within the family business, to help them decide what they want to do.

We're big proponents of having a family employment policy within family businesses. If your relatives are joining your family business, you should require them to have a college degree or outside work experience to build their knowledge, experience, and credibility in their own eyes.

Rising generation members have told us they're concerned about how they're perceived by family, friends, and colleagues, both when working for family businesses and in other circumstances. For those working within the business, having requirements around their experience can boost their credibility at the business.

3. How can I navigate uncomfortable money dynamics and questions from friends and romantic partners?

When rising generation members interact with friends and colleagues, it can lead to uncomfortable questions about wealth and privilege.

Our clients feel that they don't necessarily know how to answer if someone asks them a question such as "How much are you worth?" or "Do you have a trust fund?"

We worked with one family member who worked for a nonprofit in San Francisco and lived in a beautiful apartment that his family helped him purchase. He didn't feel comfortable having friends over because it would bring up questions that he didn't know how to deal with.

We suggested he reflect on some of the awkward money questions people ask and develop a short elevator speech that felt organic. He identified gratitude as a core value, and when people commented on the apartment, he'd respond with, "Thank you. I wake up grateful every day." He found it incredibly helpful to prepare the speech and share his feelings about the topic.

4. How can I acquire the skills necessary to manage family wealth responsibly?

We've continually heard rising generation clients say they feel overwhelmed about managing family wealth.

Maybe they didn't major in finance or business in college, or maybe whenever they speak to a parent or family member, they feel like that person is talking in legalese about trusts. They want to know where to start.

We're big fans of skill-building, which involves identifying learning opportunities to help them understand wealth management. This can include investing smaller sums of money to build up to larger ones, budgeting, and allowances.

There are relevant exercises you can do at every age. Our financial education handbook resource contains advice for people aged five to 25. Even with young children, you can talk about things like needs versus wants, credit cards, and allowances.

As children grow toward college age, things like learning how to read a paycheck become more important.

We've also seen situations where there's a sudden death, and a pile of responsibility falls on a rising generation family member who feels completely overwhelmed while also dealing with grief. We're proponents of building skills over time to help people gain confidence.